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Once he knows that you notice and are appreciative, your hubby will naturally want to continue to please you. Love Your Husband for Who He Is. Now's the perfect time to create a haven! You and your husband will change and grow over the years, and your marriage will change and grow along with you. 14. I have also emptied a truckload of wood and piled it up. SHARE. A Happy Marriage is hard work. I could fall back in love with my husband over and over again. 22. Here are my 8 lessons I have learned over the past 8 years: Your childhood family traditions don’t have to be your family traditions. We’re closer than we were on that January day in 2003. In 13 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about marriage. Nice lessons. What Lessons Have You Learned From Marriage? My husband and I both shy away from confrontation, which makes for a pleasant home. Keep on acting like you love your spouse – and pray about your situation – while treating your husband with kindness. And in 13 years of marriage, I’ve learned a thing or two about marriage – or, actually, 13 things …. Marital success has nothing to do with education, economics or social status. You are serving the Lord Christ.”. Here is my list of 22 things I’ve learned about marriage: 1) Marriage is worth the work, when your spouse bothers you, realize you are just as annoying. I met my husband Wes when I was 19. He would be so opinionated about how to load the dishwasher. when people say marriage is about compromise, they really were 100% accurate! Talk about your days. I’ve watched God’s transforming power in my dad’s life and now my husband’s life – and I am amazed and grateful. It was awkward to be more spiritually mature than he was. 31. ), sadness and adventure (marriage and moving to Waco have been quite adventurous). We have learned that if we neglect our relationship while raising our kids, we slowly grow apart. I could depend so heavily on someone else. It can be frustrating at times. I’ve been married 52 hrs and my husband and I are still “young”. How easy it is to hurt someone you love. We are a far better team. 9. Since I was barely 20 years old back then, I have a hard time remembering what life was like without him. You’ll want to give up on your marriage and walk away. Yes yes & yes to all of these comments!!! We understand each other so much better. I can guarantee you that if you act on your emotions – and you end up stoking your bitterness and anger, it will grow like a fire. Losing myself sounds romantic, but really just leads to me feeling lost. Faith-Filled Encouragement for Homemakers. What didn’t I know? 17. As long as your marriage is OK and you know that you’re the one dealing with issues, try hard to not take it out on your spouse. A man could own more shoes than me. I could probably go on and on about all that I have learned so far, but I want to hear from you. Here are 21 Things I’ve Learned in 21 Years of Marriage: 1 – Important to Have Alone Time with Spouse This can be hard to do but it’s essential. Walk around your neighborhood hand in hand. 2. And if your spouse isn’t giving his or her all, don’t get discouraged – keep doing it. Staying connected to each other would be challenging. This post was originally shared on July 20, 2014. Maybe you’ve had a crummy week at work. Thank your spouse for taking out the trash, or making dinner, or working hard. 3. Keep in mind that these things are helpful for us, especially when we apply them. That “Til Death Do Us Part” is no small feat. No one is more important than your spouse. And when you do see the good, remember to thank your husband. I was a cheater in the past and received some great help from a head shrink and learned a lot about myself in the process. 6) Marriage, then the kids – this one is a tough one because our maternal instincts come out, but we have learned that it is so important to put “us” before “them”. Because of this, I’m a huge fan of praying for each other and praying with each other. As long as you’re not in danger, is the issue you’re focusing on worth a confrontation? What I Have Learned in 44 Years of Marriage. We’ve grown together so much. We are celebrating 8 years. Now that we've been married for 15 years, here are my 15 biggest marriage lessons learned. She is the founder of the blog Married and Naked and creator of The Ultimate Marriage Journal. I think so many people do not understand that it takes constant work and it isn’t always easy. Disclosure: Purchasing items through links in this post will result in a commission for No Place Like Home. I get full of fear at times. Pursuing peace may take a lot of prayer. I believe you can find peace and purpose when you care for your home and family. Never start the day off nagging or complaining. Thank you for supporting this website! This is an article about the top 10 things I have learned in my 3 years of marriage. Even if you have young children at home and it’s more tempting to have a date night at home after the kids have gone to bed – we’ve had those! I would still have to date my husband. I know there are up and down times to every life, and yet I fear those down times with a passion. Be prepared for the battle by armoring yourselves up. Instead of focusing on offenses in marriage, focus on peace. We learned a lot, grew a lot and, as a result of our efforts, we have much to celebrate. Visit a local festival. If you’re seeking help with your marriage, please consult a professional. Like the development of a child, these formative years of infancy in a marriage are crucial to its development and potential future success. Remember that you are accountable to God, and take heart in Colossians 3:23-24: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. What I've learned from my experiences of divorce and remarriage, and from observing other couples, is that every couple has the ability to have a successful marriage. That’s me and my man thirteen years ago, all happy and sparkly. She is a professional speaker on a mission to help you create the marriage you desire and deserve. Time alone with my husband would be scarce and sacred time that I will go to all lengths to find. If I complained or nitpicked about every single annoyance, I would easily become a nagging wife no one would want to live with. 19. 11. We are more in love today than when we married almost 32 years ago! 24. – it’s still important to make time for just the two of you outside of your home. Not that we were aware of that at the time. I can answer my own questions with a resounding no. In a healthy relationship, though, if you know you’re in a funk for some unrelated reason, don’t take it out on your spouse. It has not been a cake walk but I can say being married is a major blessing in so many ways. Copyright © www.married-and-naked.com - 2017 - All Rights Reserved, The Ultimate Marriage Guide: 21 Secrets To Mastering Communication, 4th Marriage Secret To Create The Ultimate Marriage, Secret #3 To Creating The Ultimate Marriage, How To Have The Ultimate Marriage Secret #2. I AM the only one who empties the dishwasher and put things away. So, I have been married for almost 3 … But I loved him. That means I was a whopping 22 years old when we started dating. I married by husband when I was 24 years old. We must forgive each other over and over and over and over if we want to have peace and joy. But hold the front door. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. 21. What I have learned in 15 years of marriage: I Learned The Art Of Love. Know the Word of God and know it well. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.”. But I’m also excited to see what will continue to happen in the future. Instead of only serving alone, make sure you’re serving with your spouse if at all possible. We were married at 18 and 20 years of age, so we had a lot of growing up to do. As long as it’s not earth-shattering, I try to let it go. 13. The physical attraction after years of marriage is just as strong as it was before and while we were dating. by Audrey Hayworth. We happened to be alone together in a tiny kitchen for about 60 seconds, tops, and all I wanted to do was kiss him. When Aaron and I got married, he was a fairly new Christian. Marriage has purpose. … Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. 4. The most important things I’ve learned are these: 1. In … Sometimes it is a serious issue and we need to discuss it with each other. Work hard to save money to donate – that just the two of you know about. Where has the time gone? It’s much more difficult and will take much more time and energy to get your marriage back on track if you focus on nurturing bad attitudes and a hateful spirit. As you are on this journey, here are a few lessons that I have learned after 22 years of marriage. He too can become lost. In that case, seek help immediately. And I knew that since God already changed him so radically, He could keep making bigger changes. (Unless, of course, you’re in an abusive relationship. Because of this, sometimes it seems like my husband Aaron and I should be newlyweds. I would, sometimes, question  whether or not “Happily Ever After” really exists. In the short while that Sarah and I have been married, here are ten lessons we have learned. Actually, here are 13 things I’ve learned in marriage …. Hair shavings in the sink could drive me to near insanity. Here are some of the lessons we learned the hard way: Don’t complain about the cooking when your spouse is the cook. 29. Your email address will not be published. I know him better. We celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary this summer. View all posts by Tammy Greene. Since we were just friends at the time, I was shocked – but I couldn’t deny the attraction. Maybe you’re just feeling grumpy or depressed. 1. Make sure it’s you. That it takes a a lot of courage to be the one to end the silos espeacially when you believe you nt the one that’s has wronged. 5. I can remember my wedding day like it was yesterday. Men need to feel that they are providing and that they are vital to the relationship. Still he cut it and still works every day and he Always closes the toilet lid! What I’ve Learned in Marriage. Pray that your spouse would give 100 percent, too – and come right out and ask him or her to put the same effort into your marriage. What is their secret? I love my husband more today that I did on our wedding day. Love these lessons! ... As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Last year, Aaron and I taught Sunday school together on our anniversary. ~Mother Theresa 2. If you’re married, it’s a good thing you have been given the blessing of your spouse. While this is by no means a definitive list, here are some of the important lessons we learned the hard way: 1. We are better friends. It hasn’t been all sunshine, and roses, but now, confidently, I can say it is. The important thing is to get alone with your spouse and be able to enjoy life together. I have learned that marriage has extraordinary purpose. I always wondered if the spark would fizzle after years of marriage, or if married couples just became too familiar with each other. 18. Thank you! In your marriage, give 100 percent. 33. Marriage is naturally going to reflect that swinging. Plus, you’ll have something different to talk about with your spouse. July 13, 2015 Updated May 14, 2020. Some tips that have helped us include: 1. Remember those vows, and stay true to your word. Fear that I will mess it up somehow. Learning to communicate with my husband would be a never-ending challenge. Even if you’re not exactly as interested in a topic as your husband is. , Thank you for this, Hillary. On your wedding day, you made vows to God and your spouse. She's happiest when she's hosting friends and family for dinner, going on date nights with her husband, singing along to the radio while driving her kids around, enjoying live performances, relaxing on family vacations at the beach, and spending cozy family nights at home.The author of, 5 Things Wives Should Remember About Their Husbands, The Important Secret to Surviving Your Child’s Stages, Dear SAHM, Your Husband Didn’t Marry His Mommy, When You Need to Stop Striving On Your Own as a Wife, © 2021 HilaryBernstein.com. My marriage is pretty dang good. And they’re great! That I could truly love him more now than the day I married him. Honor your spouse by giving your all. We all make mistakes and we all have flaws. Just one date will add a huge spring to your step. Here is what I have learned in the last 15 years of marriage: Life is full of surprises. God orchestrated a bunch of life’s circumstances and godly men and I watched God transform my husband into the godly man of my prayers and dreams. Husbands can’t read minds. That ultimately one of you need to step up and move your marriage out of the enstranged zone. I am excited to be sharing a little of what I have learned. The hubby and I have been married for 9 years and together for 12! Great thought Carolyn. If we really want to love we mush learn how to forgive. Life is hard. And it usually means you need to rely on the Holy Spirit. Our differences over what furniture to buy, would lead to  a public and embarrassing display of me losing my mind. Make sure you talk and reconnect. Even though it was 13 years ago today, many details still stick out so clearly to me. But sometimes there are bigger issues at hand, like deciding if you want to have kids, or how much money you need to have in the bank to feel secure. 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